Probably Not The Best Bar - Baltimore, MD - Sunday Afternoon

[magnusrushesin]

Teaching was all well and good, but even with some shark killing thrown in there, it was sort of... boring. When you got used to adventuring all the time on some epic quest, you got used to constant excitement.

That would be why Magnus had figured out this world's version of Craig's List (which didn't involve a gnome named Craig) and had dragged Taako along for what he could only hope would be a great adventure. And not something that would leave them running from the law.

Or learning why M4M was not a posting Magnus needed to be answering.

"You think they have cider here?"

[[For the guy from TV]

Comments

[taakosgoodhere]

"These don't look like cider drinking dudes." He had been getting weird looks since he had walked in. It might've been the pointy hat. Or the glittery purple skirt. Either/or.

[magnusrushesin]

They did look like they got their cosplay outfits from Goodwill...

"Maybe we should have asked to meet somewhere less shady," Magnus said with a sigh. "Oh, look! They have a jukebox!"

He was going to make it only play The Girl from Ipanema for the next hour.

[taakosgoodhere]

Taako sighed. Because he knew exactly what Magnus would play. "These types of quests always start in a shady bar. People in nice bars don't hire the likes of us."

They would hire actually competent people.

[magnusrushesin]

So, the women they worked with got to be hired in nice bars?

"That's fair," Magnus admitted, hurrying back to Taako once he'd entered in five dollars worth of plays. "Kinda weird to not see a bard anywhere though, right?"

[taakosgoodhere]

"It is a little odd," he agreed. "Maybe he's on vacation?"

It was some sort of a holiday this weekend, he had discovered.

[magnusrushesin]

"Maybe he was really bad and they kicked him out." It was Scales. The bard there was totally Scales.

[taakosgoodhere]

"Possible, I guess," Taako said, giving stink eye back to one of the onlookers. "I wish the advertisement let us know about the dress code."

They weren't exactly inconspicuous.

[magnusrushesin]

"I'll make sure to ask next time," Magnus promised, squinting for a moment before following Taako's gaze over to one of the other bar patrons."

"But I think we're dressed just fine," he added much louder. You know. For the people who were being weird about stuff.

[taakosgoodhere]

"Smooth," Taako said with a roll of his eyes. "So tell me again what this quest is all about."

[magnusrushesin]

He'd punch a guy. Don't think he wouldn't.

"There was a lot of code in the posting, but from what I can tell, they're looking for a guy."

Damn it, Magnus.

[taakosgoodhere]

"Who isn't?" Taako asked. "Did they specifically mention a reward or loot?"

[magnusrushesin]

"Not too much money, but--but I think we can negotiate."

Between the two of them.

[taakosgoodhere]

"We're lucky my charisma is high," Taako said. "Keep an eye out for the guy; I'm gonna get some drinks."

[magnusrushesin]

"Check your inventory for that badge too!" Magnus called after him.

[taakosgoodhere]

"Yeah, yeah," Taako said with a wave of his hand. He wasn't surprised to hear that, no, they did not sell cider at this bar. He wasn't the ale type so he ended up getting two drinks called a "Cherry Poppins".

To Taako it just tasted like key lime gogurt.

"Don't say I never gave you anything," Taako said, handing Magnus a red drink.

[magnusrushesin]

"You gave me a sword and Merle's cousin's loafers," Magnus replied loyally. "Do I wanna know what this drink is?"

And if either of them could pass a perception check, a suitible sketchy looking guy entered the bar and began looking around.

[taakosgoodhere]

"It's called a Cherry Poppins," Taako said. "I got it because it sounds dirty."

Yeah he would not be passing that perception check due to his amusement of the drink name. And he didn't even get the movie aspect of it!

[magnusrushesin]

This wouldn't have happened if Griffin were in charge.

"Like the band?" The ska band that of course Magnus knew.

[taakosgoodhere]

"Uh...yes." Yes. He totally knew that it was named after a band. Definitely.

Quick, change the subject! "There's a creeper staring at your butt."

Because the guy couldn't just be looking at the strange outfits, sure.

[magnusrushesin]

"It's a great butt," Magnus replied, turning to look at the aforementioned Sketchy Dude who did not look impressed with the people filling his ad.

Nor did he sound like Griffin doing a voice when he asked, "Are you the guys from Craigslist?"

[taakosgoodhere]

"Yes, yes we are," he said. "I'm Taako from TV and this is Magnus."

[magnusrushesin]

"I'm known in some circles as The Hammer. Or... I'Morko."

No guitar sting. Weird.

Somehow none of this looked like it was impressing the guy.

[taakosgoodhere]

Taako gave Magnus such a look for The Hammer thing but was actively not trying to bicker in front of someone who would be giving them money.

"What can we do you for, my man?" That was probably poor phrasing.

[magnusrushesin]

The man was forced to realized the guy in the pointy hat and fake (??) elf ears was apparently the sane one.

"Look, I don't think you guys are right for this job."

"Hey, we're right for it!" Magnus insisted. "What was it again?"

[taakosgoodhere]

Taako tilted his head as he tried to remember what the ad had actually said but to be honest he hadn't been paying too much attention when Magnus showed it to him.

"It had something to do with leather and your daddy. And hogtying?" he murmured. "I guess you're taking us to your dad's farm?"