Probably Not The Best Bar - Baltimore, MD - Sunday Afternoon

[magnusrushesin]

Teaching was all well and good, but even with some shark killing thrown in there, it was sort of... boring. When you got used to adventuring all the time on some epic quest, you got used to constant excitement.

That would be why Magnus had figured out this world's version of Craig's List (which didn't involve a gnome named Craig) and had dragged Taako along for what he could only hope would be a great adventure. And not something that would leave them running from the law.

Or learning why M4M was not a posting Magnus needed to be answering.

"You think they have cider here?"

[[For the guy from TV]

Comments

[taakosgoodhere]

"Yes, yes we are," he said. "I'm Taako from TV and this is Magnus."

[magnusrushesin]

"I'm known in some circles as The Hammer. Or... I'Morko."

No guitar sting. Weird.

Somehow none of this looked like it was impressing the guy.

[taakosgoodhere]

Taako gave Magnus such a look for The Hammer thing but was actively not trying to bicker in front of someone who would be giving them money.

"What can we do you for, my man?" That was probably poor phrasing.

[magnusrushesin]

The man was forced to realized the guy in the pointy hat and fake (??) elf ears was apparently the sane one.

"Look, I don't think you guys are right for this job."

"Hey, we're right for it!" Magnus insisted. "What was it again?"

[taakosgoodhere]

Taako tilted his head as he tried to remember what the ad had actually said but to be honest he hadn't been paying too much attention when Magnus showed it to him.

"It had something to do with leather and your daddy. And hogtying?" he murmured. "I guess you're taking us to your dad's farm?"

[magnusrushesin]

"I have experience among the common folk," Magnus added proudly. "I can work on a farm. Also, my armor is leather. It actually came in handy unlike Taako's cape."

Aaaand their sketchy new friend was turning an alarming shade of red. "No! No, the position has been filled!"

[taakosgoodhere]

"Excuse you, my cape is awesome." And fashionable. "And what do you mean the position has been filled? Your ad said there were many openings to be filled, that's why we both showed up."

[magnusrushesin]

"Oh, I see. Playing hardball," Magnus said, crossing his arms over his chest. "You want an audition like whatshisface. Merle's cousin that we didn't rob."

The man just looked more traumatized by this entire experience. "I do not want an audition for anything being filled!"

[taakosgoodhere]

"Rockseeker. Which was his actual name and not some nickname someone desperately wants people to use." Magnus.

"We can totally show you our skills, dude," Taako said. "Magnus can do some swordplay and I can do some pretty crazy shit with my umbrella."

[magnusrushesin]

Magnus made a completely affronted noise because his nicknames were earned, Taako.

"Oh god, I knew I should have stuck with Grindr," Sketchy Dude groaned, covering his face with his hands.

"Taako is really good at pulling spells out of his ass," Magnus added because he was assuming Grindr was like a combat based job posting. You know. Like a grinding stone.

[taakosgoodhere]

Meanwhile, Taako thought Grindr was the name of a dude. "We're totally okay working with this Grindr guy. So long as the pay is good."

He was not going to split bad pay three ways.

[magnusrushesin]

That was even better! Why hasn't either of them picked that name? It was a solid name.

"Maybe he'll actually know how to heal people too," Magnus added.

Meanwhile, Sketchy Dude was attempting to back away from them without gaining more attention.

[taakosgoodhere]

"That'd be a nice change," Taako said. He looked over at Sketchy Dude. "Hey, wait, are we going to the farm now?"

[magnusrushesin]

Curse your passive perception, Taako!

"I will pay you not to come with me," Sketchy Dude said. As this was the worst Labor Day weekend he could have had. "I will pay you all my money."

"But... adventure," Magnus said sadly.

[taakosgoodhere]

"Deal!" Money and not having to be around farm animals? Dream come true for Taako.

[magnusrushesin]

Sketchy Dude just shoved his entire wallet at them, fleeing before this could go even further south. It wasn't exactly much, but probably enough for a few rounds at the bar.

"I knew I should have gone with Reddit for jobs," Magnus sighed.

[taakosgoodhere]

"Stop complaining, we still got the reward."

[magnusrushesin]

"I guess. Didn't even get to Phantom Fist anyone."

It's like they were doing it on purpose now.

[taakosgoodhere]

"Pick a fight with one of the guys at the bar," Taako said, tossing the wallet aside once he got all the money out of it. "They look like they could use a good fisting."

That one he did do on purpose.

[magnusrushesin]

"I could take everyone in the bar. It wouldn't be fair." Oh, this would only end in being on the run from the law.

[taakosgoodhere]

"Everyone in the bar at the same time?" he asked. "You could not."

[magnusrushesin]

"Fine. Everyone excluding you." Because wizard.

[taakosgoodhere]

"Go ahead then," Taako said with a dramatic gesture towards the gruff looking dudes at the bar.

[magnusrushesin]

"I will."

The title of this portion of the episode was Magnus Picks A Fight With Hell's Angels.

"Hey, you!" He said to said gruff dudes who were also wearing leather. So, really he was just eliminating competition for future jobs. "You're a butt!"

Magnus Burnsides, ladies and gents.

[taakosgoodhere]

"You tell 'em, Magnus," Taako called before taking a swig of his drink. "Total butts."

He didn't necessarily want to get into a fight himself but he'd help move it along, sure. It'd be fun to watch.