Probably Not The Best Bar - Baltimore, MD - Sunday Afternoon

[magnusrushesin]

Teaching was all well and good, but even with some shark killing thrown in there, it was sort of... boring. When you got used to adventuring all the time on some epic quest, you got used to constant excitement.

That would be why Magnus had figured out this world's version of Craig's List (which didn't involve a gnome named Craig) and had dragged Taako along for what he could only hope would be a great adventure. And not something that would leave them running from the law.

Or learning why M4M was not a posting Magnus needed to be answering.

"You think they have cider here?"

[[For the guy from TV]

Comments

[taakosgoodhere]

Meanwhile, Taako thought Grindr was the name of a dude. "We're totally okay working with this Grindr guy. So long as the pay is good."

He was not going to split bad pay three ways.

[magnusrushesin]

That was even better! Why hasn't either of them picked that name? It was a solid name.

"Maybe he'll actually know how to heal people too," Magnus added.

Meanwhile, Sketchy Dude was attempting to back away from them without gaining more attention.

[taakosgoodhere]

"That'd be a nice change," Taako said. He looked over at Sketchy Dude. "Hey, wait, are we going to the farm now?"

[magnusrushesin]

Curse your passive perception, Taako!

"I will pay you not to come with me," Sketchy Dude said. As this was the worst Labor Day weekend he could have had. "I will pay you all my money."

"But... adventure," Magnus said sadly.

[taakosgoodhere]

"Deal!" Money and not having to be around farm animals? Dream come true for Taako.

[magnusrushesin]

Sketchy Dude just shoved his entire wallet at them, fleeing before this could go even further south. It wasn't exactly much, but probably enough for a few rounds at the bar.

"I knew I should have gone with Reddit for jobs," Magnus sighed.

[taakosgoodhere]

"Stop complaining, we still got the reward."

[magnusrushesin]

"I guess. Didn't even get to Phantom Fist anyone."

It's like they were doing it on purpose now.

[taakosgoodhere]

"Pick a fight with one of the guys at the bar," Taako said, tossing the wallet aside once he got all the money out of it. "They look like they could use a good fisting."

That one he did do on purpose.

[magnusrushesin]

"I could take everyone in the bar. It wouldn't be fair." Oh, this would only end in being on the run from the law.

[taakosgoodhere]

"Everyone in the bar at the same time?" he asked. "You could not."

[magnusrushesin]

"Fine. Everyone excluding you." Because wizard.

[taakosgoodhere]

"Go ahead then," Taako said with a dramatic gesture towards the gruff looking dudes at the bar.

[magnusrushesin]

"I will."

The title of this portion of the episode was Magnus Picks A Fight With Hell's Angels.

"Hey, you!" He said to said gruff dudes who were also wearing leather. So, really he was just eliminating competition for future jobs. "You're a butt!"

Magnus Burnsides, ladies and gents.

[taakosgoodhere]

"You tell 'em, Magnus," Taako called before taking a swig of his drink. "Total butts."

He didn't necessarily want to get into a fight himself but he'd help move it along, sure. It'd be fun to watch.

[magnusrushesin]

Just as long as he didnt also drink Magnus' cocktail too.

The bar sort of stopped for a moment, but only one guy got up to respond to that. "I think you and your buddy there need to leave before something real bad happens to you."

"What? Like you being more of a butt?" Magnus asked, bouncing a little on his toes. He leaned back to give Taako a 'can you believe this guy?' Look.

[taakosgoodhere]

Taako gave Magnus a thumb's up. He also looked over at the exit because if this went south he was running out of here so fast.

Or sending himself to the astral plane. Whichever one was easier.

[magnusrushesin]

Yeah, yeah. Blink your way out of problems.

Magnus grinned wider when a swing was taken at him and initiative had to be rolled. Because fuck yeah, he was getting in a good fight.

"This is a great trip!"

[taakosgoodhere]

"Glad to see you're enjoying your--" Taako stopped abruptly when an ugly leather clad guy grabbed his shoulder. "Uh I want no part of this, I didn't roll initiative."

[magnusrushesin]

"Hey!" Magnus shouted at Ugly Dude hassling Taako, distracted enough to get a blow to the head for his trouble. He knew he should have brought along his shield to up his AC here.

Time for an improvised weapon of a chair. Which he was proficient in due to his carpentry background, thank you very much.

[taakosgoodhere]

Taako held up his umbrella threateningly. "I will magic missile you to hell and back, my dude, don't think I won't!"

Which of course was when someone shouted they were calling the cops.

[magnusrushesin]

Magnus smashed his +1 to bar fights chair over the head of the guy threatening Taako.

"Hey, do you think I'll get fired if they arrest us?" he asked, using his second attack on the nearest Leather-clad Dude.

[taakosgoodhere]

"Uh, probably." Which would not be great. So Taako did some quick thinking to make their escape.

Meaning he threw his drink into another leather dude's face and then threw the glass for good measure. "Run!"

[magnusrushesin]

Which just made Magnus crack up as he grabbed Taako by the shoulder to run out of there as sirens started blaring. "Why didn't you learn to teleport us? That should be a priority spell!"

[taakosgoodhere]

"That seems like cheating!" At least from a DM standpoint. "Just run--we got the money anyway."

Which was the important thing.