magnusrushesin | Probably Not The Best Bar - Baltimore, MD

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Probably Not The Best Bar - Baltimore, MD - Sunday Afternoon

Teaching was all well and good, but even with some shark killing thrown in there, it was sort of... boring. When you got used to adventuring all the time on some epic quest, you got used to constant excitement.

That would be why Magnus had figured out this world's version of Craig's List (which didn't involve a gnome named Craig) and had dragged Taako along for what he could only hope would be a great adventure. And not something that would leave them running from the law.

Or learning why M4M was not a posting Magnus needed to be answering.

"You think they have cider here?"

[[For the guy from TV]

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"Smooth," Taako said with a roll of his eyes. "So tell me again what this quest is all about."

He'd punch a guy. Don't think he wouldn't.

"There was a lot of code in the posting, but from what I can tell, they're looking for a guy."

Damn it, Magnus.

"Who isn't?" Taako asked. "Did they specifically mention a reward or loot?"

"Not too much money, but--but I think we can negotiate."

Between the two of them.

"We're lucky my charisma is high," Taako said. "Keep an eye out for the guy; I'm gonna get some drinks."

"Check your inventory for that badge too!" Magnus called after him.

"Yeah, yeah," Taako said with a wave of his hand. He wasn't surprised to hear that, no, they did not sell cider at this bar. He wasn't the ale type so he ended up getting two drinks called a "Cherry Poppins".

To Taako it just tasted like key lime gogurt.

"Don't say I never gave you anything," Taako said, handing Magnus a red drink.

"You gave me a sword and Merle's cousin's loafers," Magnus replied loyally. "Do I wanna know what this drink is?"

And if either of them could pass a perception check, a suitible sketchy looking guy entered the bar and began looking around.

"It's called a Cherry Poppins," Taako said. "I got it because it sounds dirty."

Yeah he would not be passing that perception check due to his amusement of the drink name. And he didn't even get the movie aspect of it!

This wouldn't have happened if Griffin were in charge.

"Like the band?" The ska band that of course Magnus knew.

"Uh...yes." Yes. He totally knew that it was named after a band. Definitely.

Quick, change the subject! "There's a creeper staring at your butt."

Because the guy couldn't just be looking at the strange outfits, sure.

"It's a great butt," Magnus replied, turning to look at the aforementioned Sketchy Dude who did not look impressed with the people filling his ad.

Nor did he sound like Griffin doing a voice when he asked, "Are you the guys from Craigslist?"

"Yes, yes we are," he said. "I'm Taako from TV and this is Magnus."

"I'm known in some circles as The Hammer. Or... I'Morko."

No guitar sting. Weird.

Somehow none of this looked like it was impressing the guy.

Taako gave Magnus such a look for The Hammer thing but was actively not trying to bicker in front of someone who would be giving them money.

"What can we do you for, my man?" That was probably poor phrasing.

The man was forced to realized the guy in the pointy hat and fake (??) elf ears was apparently the sane one.

"Look, I don't think you guys are right for this job."

"Hey, we're right for it!" Magnus insisted. "What was it again?"

Taako tilted his head as he tried to remember what the ad had actually said but to be honest he hadn't been paying too much attention when Magnus showed it to him.

"It had something to do with leather and your daddy. And hogtying?" he murmured. "I guess you're taking us to your dad's farm?"

"I have experience among the common folk," Magnus added proudly. "I can work on a farm. Also, my armor is leather. It actually came in handy unlike Taako's cape."

Aaaand their sketchy new friend was turning an alarming shade of red. "No! No, the position has been filled!"

"Excuse you, my cape is awesome." And fashionable. "And what do you mean the position has been filled? Your ad said there were many openings to be filled, that's why we both showed up."

"Oh, I see. Playing hardball," Magnus said, crossing his arms over his chest. "You want an audition like whatshisface. Merle's cousin that we didn't rob."

The man just looked more traumatized by this entire experience. "I do not want an audition for anything being filled!"

"Rockseeker. Which was his actual name and not some nickname someone desperately wants people to use." Magnus.

"We can totally show you our skills, dude," Taako said. "Magnus can do some swordplay and I can do some pretty crazy shit with my umbrella."

Magnus made a completely affronted noise because his nicknames were earned, Taako.

"Oh god, I knew I should have stuck with Grindr," Sketchy Dude groaned, covering his face with his hands.

"Taako is really good at pulling spells out of his ass," Magnus added because he was assuming Grindr was like a combat based job posting. You know. Like a grinding stone.

Meanwhile, Taako thought Grindr was the name of a dude. "We're totally okay working with this Grindr guy. So long as the pay is good."

He was not going to split bad pay three ways.

That was even better! Why hasn't either of them picked that name? It was a solid name.

"Maybe he'll actually know how to heal people too," Magnus added.

Meanwhile, Sketchy Dude was attempting to back away from them without gaining more attention.

"That'd be a nice change," Taako said. He looked over at Sketchy Dude. "Hey, wait, are we going to the farm now?"

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